The Bride of Christ has a sex problem in the American church. Sexual problems in marriage, pre-marital sex, adultery, pornography, self-satisfaction, homosexuality and many other forms have plagued the church and will continue to plague the church. In Dr. Budziszewski’s book On the Meaning of Sex, he writes about the problem, “Errors about sex cause such terrible suffering, in our day more than in most. The worst is the suffering of those who no longer know they are in torment, for it is simply a lie that everyone is happy who believes himself happy, a slander that nobody is suffering unless he thinks that he is.” [i]
As Christ followers we know our sexual sins are not permitted (, , , Rev. 21:8) and to think otherwise is a lie told to us by the world. Even worse, our sexual immorality is causing us pain to us and those around us. In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians he addresses the issue of sexual immorality.
“It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not to rather mourn?” –
You may read the above verses and be thinking that a man having sexual relations with his father’s wife is disgusting and even thinking that since you are not engaging in such a practice this passage does not apply to you. However sexual immorality is sexual immorality no matter the flavor. Sexual immorality is anything within the realm of sex that is outside God’s original design for sex. This means that anything sexual that takes place outside the marriage of a man and woman is sexual immorality. This includes, but is not limited to pre-marital sex, adultery, pornography, open marriages, using pornography as a “marital aid”, holding lustful thoughts, homosexuality, or anything else that is outside the bounds of a loving and committed marriage between a husband and wife. Sexual immorality is finding its way into the church and this should not be so! Look at what the Apostle Paul wrote regarding sexual immorality and the Christian in
“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.”
It is clear from Scripture that sexual immorality of any kind is not fitting of a Christ follower. Remember in Paul calls sexual immorality among believers arrogant! As Christians, when we give into sexual immorality of any type we do so with an attitude of arrogance and pride. Paul continues and says arrogance should not be our attitude, but instead we ought to mourn! Dear Christ follower, do you mourn sexual immorality in your life or do you cling to it with pride?
In Christ there is forgiveness of sin for those who are willing to confess and repent (). Sexual immorality has a way of ensnaring us and pulling us back, and as a result we end up in a never-ending cycle of sin and in need of seeking forgiveness. To break the cycle of sexual immorality in our lives we need help. We need the Word of God, we need the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and we need the encouragement and accountability of other Christ followers. When the temptation of sexual immorality is rearing its ugly head in your life are you turning toward Scripture? Are you listening to the conviction of the Holy Spirit? Are you talking about it with your spouse and other Christians?
If you are in a pattern of sexual immorality, or know someone in a pattern of sexual immorality, know this, there is hope and victory is possible! I want to suggest some Gospel centered books to help realign your understanding of sex. These books will help you realize that you are not alone and that there is victory. If you struggle with sexual immorality, grab a copy of the book and seek out a strong Christian of the same sex who is strong in the faith to help you through this sinful behavior and find not just temporary victory but lasting victory.
A huge percentage of men need a porn detox, a moral and psychological reset. Do you? If so, whether you know it or not, pornography has corrupted your thinking, weakened your conscience, warped your sense of right and wrong, and twisted your understanding and expectations of sexuality. You need a reset by the One who created sex.
One in five Christian women use pornography. One in three visitors to a porn site is a woman. Many, many more women read explicit books like Fifty Shades of Grey. Even more than that write their own pornography – not on paper for publication, but in their heads for their own use. Helen Thorne knows all this because she’s done it. But no one talks about it. Our churches are silent on it. There are very few books about it. It is the unspoken struggle of thousands of Christian women – perhaps you, and probably someone you know.
But no more. In this refreshingly honest, resolutely hope-filled and gospel-soaked book, Helen speaks the unspoken. In doing so, she shows how purity is better and more satisfying than fantasy – and that, whoever you are and whatever your struggles, that purity is possible.
 Budziszewski, J.; On the Meaning of Sex; ISI Books, Willimington, Deleware; 2012
18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. (ESV)
21 I fear that when I come again my God may humble me before you, and I may have to mourn over many of those who sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual immorality, and sensuality that they have practiced. (ESV)
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, (ESV)
5:1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. (ESV)
3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. (ESV)
2 And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you. (ESV)
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (ESV)